“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
I had a similar epiphany recently; standing on a beach at midnight on the West coast of Vancouver Island, a roaring bonfire behind me, and waves gently lapping the shore just ahead, I realized that here (not there or elsewhere) is exactly where I've always needed to be. Moreover, here is also exactly where I wanted to be all along. It's just that when I finally arrived, I was already on my way to somewhere else.
It's January 1st and as beginnings go, it makes sense to start here on the fresh page of a New Year, not with resolutions, but more likely with resolve, to get this thing called "my life" a little better figured out so that (a) I can remind myself to be grateful and observant in order to (b) stop trying to change what is now into the futile, imaginary destination of "I wish" for tomorrow - and in doing so (c) clear the way to tomorrow's now in a more loving, thoughtful, and present way.
And it begins with a pen. Or in this case, a key board.
I want to turn a page or two in my life so that I'm not only relishing in the present, I'm doing so from a place that has let go of old fears from the past because I've learned that though it's one thing to say I've let go of the self doubt, fear of abandonment, and every day's expectation that the bottom could fall out of my life at any moment, what is easily said is not always so easily done.
The truth is, the bottom will fall out. The tricky part is that I need to quit waiting for it to happen.
In fact, I need to quit waiting, period, and start living. Immersed in every delicious, sticky, painful, joyous, heart wrenching, moment this life has to offer and experience the all of it both as an active participant and an observer.
And so on this, Day 1, of a spiritual journey to reconnect with myself, I call to the universe with my intention to become exactly who I need to be with full acceptance that I am already all of it.
This is a remembering.
This is an uncovering.
This is who I Am.
Today's reminder: I am exactly where I need to be at this time in my life. I notice everything from a place of detachment, gratitude and love. I am enough.
Lyndsay Wells is a professional trainer, writer, and program developer
with a passion for living, blogging and the ongoing inclination to self
medicate with pie crust.